The Apprentice

Writing in The Sun, the columnist Anila Baig recently observed that The Apprentice is the “most multicultural” of all reality shows, and that it features a particularly high proportion of Asian candidates. Which is true, of course. While your average episodes of Shipwrecked or Airline make even Richard Curtis movies seem culturally diverse, The Apprentice could give the annual gathering of the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants a run for its money.

In recent series we’ve had, among others, Syed Ahmed (about whom Nick, Sir Alan’s sidekick, has remarked: “An odious bugger on his uppers. No redeeming feature at all”), Raef Bjayou (“An intelligent version of Syed Ahmed… I thought his hair was a toupee”), and Tre Azam (“Basically, he’s just not house-trained”).

And while Anita Shah, rather cruelly labelled a “snowplough-faced fantasist” by The News of the World, was fired at the end of the first episode of the new series, and bearded Majid Nagra was fired at the end of the third episode, we still have Noorul Choudhury contending for the £100,000 job. Which raises the question: why do Asians feature in disproportionately high numbers?

A number of explanations spring to mind, the most obvious of which is that we Asians famously have a predilection for business. But I think this idea can be dismissed because, let’s face it, The Apprentice is no more about business than Domestos is a great facial moisturiser, and also because I have a better explanation, which Baig almost put a finger on when she remarked that Sir Alan reminds her of many Asian uncles: “He boasts about his millions, likes big, ugly cars, has a beard and looks miserable… but he has a grudging, deep-down patriarchal concern.”

I put it to you that Asians thrive on The Apprentice because they are the new Jews….

Read atTimes Online