The Culture Show

When BBC TWO’S Culture Show asked whether I’d be willing to be filmed secretly watching a Wolverhampton book group discuss my newly published family memoir, If You Don’t Know Me By Now, I was torn.

On the one hand, the publicity might be good for sales. But on the other, given that the book contains a description of my home town as “the arse of the Black Country, in itself the bumcrack of the West Midlands, in itself the backside of Great Britain”, it was quite possible they would hate it. Also, given the intensely personal nature of the subject matter, I was concerned I might end up crying or punching individual book group critics in the face when the moment came to reveal my presence.

Indeed, the whole idea raised uncomfortable memories of that notorious 1990 episode of BBC Two’s Jukebox Jury, in which various panellists slated a new single by Glenn Medeiros, only for Glenn to suddenly appear on set as the “surprise mystery guest”. The incident, recently ranked No 55 in the Greatest TV Moments from Hell, instantly destroyed his British pop career. But somehow, after a discussion with the producers and my publisher, I found myself agreeing to do it…

Read atTimes Online